20th Letter!!

Well hey there

 

It was the last week of my 3rd transfer out as a missionary! weird. I have to confess. I have realized how awful i am!! sad haha but I never really apreciated all the things i had, all the people i knew, all the love i felt, i never thanked people enough, i didn't say i love you enough, i didnt show how much people meant to me! i wasnt as greatful as i should have been, my testimony was weak and i went through a lot of motions, ive made mistakes in my life, i've hurt people who didn't need to be hurt, i've not been the daughter Heavenly Father sent to the earth. Ive been rude, mean, sassy, snappy, a brat, ungratful, and inconsiderate! i didnt take advantage of the blessings i was recieving. I have NOW realized this! and im sorry. i am simply so sorry! to everyone who was effected by me. This past week has been a struggle. Im not gonna lie (for im a missionary). i have cried a lot this week because i feel so guilty and unworthy of everything that is happening to me. all the mail and blessings. im not worthy of it. and im so so sorry for all that ive done wrong in my life! from hitting my siblings and yelling at them. to being late to curfew. i. am. sorry. I have felt sick a bunch this week. i dont know why all the things ive done wrong are coming into my mind this past week. im  feel like my eyeballs are being opened.... i want them closed. but they are opening :/ and i just feel awful!

I want to change. I want to start a new! i have been repenting ALL WEEK! soo much repenting!! and there needs to be a better  word for im sorry! because im using it tooo much! I want to right the wrongs ive done in my life. and i will. just know that who ever is reading this and i've hurt you in some way. I know. and im truly sorry! ill make things better. I have been trying to go and do my will a lot of the time. but im not happy. im not! and its never really clicked that the only way to find TRUE HAPPINESS! is by doing what my Heavenly Father wants me to do. I dont know how i need to do this. i still dont know how to understand what the Holy Ghost is telling me sometimes. Im not perfect and i never will be. but i can strive to be like Christ. Who IS perfect in every way! gosh! i wish he was just here in the flesh right now to talk to me and make everything better! Life would be so much easier!! but I need to learn this, i need to understand. and that is what im going to do.

Today is a new day.

Im a new person today! and i will be a Celestial Missionary, I will be the missionary and the person Heavenly Father, Christ, and my parents know i am.

OK now that is done and out of the way with, this past week has been crazy! Me and sis G are getting REAL good at teaching the law of Chasity! like professionals.. crazy! haha we had 2 gators come to church this week! yay! Kim and Gabriel!! Gabriel is so cute, we're hitting some bumps in the road but we're not giving up! and Kim. well she came to church!! yay!! hshahahaha i love them!! Do yall remember the prophetis preacher lady named Donna? well we talked to her and her almost husband James. they told us their Love story! how they met etc. SO CUTE! they told us a lot! we could barely get a few sentences in hahaha it was super funny oh dear! they need to be baptized asap! hurry up and get married! oh they invited us to their wedding! yay! haha

I ate my first tomato sandwich! not bad. its not something ill crave like ever... some returning member (less actives) made us them! and they also gave us a plant called Touch me Not! its so legit! it plays dead when you touch it!! go google it hahha! people keep giving us plants!! we have the- touch me not plant, sketter repelent plant, a strawberry plant!! ok only 3 but its a lot! good thing it rains! other wise they'd die......... hahahaha!! this week has been a wee bit slow.. but it was still awesome!!! oh my i forgot to tell you! I dont like being around drunk, high people. not cool. at all! but we're meeting some really cool people!! and our gators are getting more and more solid!! we want to get 3 baptism this transfer! we feel like it can happen!! woooo!! well thats all for this week hahaha until next week!! ill try to have more adventure stories!! i'll get on that! I love you all! and am recieving your LOVE!! I LOVE YOU!

 

Sister Milne the awesomestt!